It's me or the Blog...

It's been nearly two months since my last post, and well, I'm not quite sure why really.  Laziness maybe?  I feel it's simply not knowing what to say or what people want to read any more.  Anyway, today is supposed to be the happiest day of the year due to it being a Saturday, and in August - everyone's favourite month.  Have you enjoyed yourself today?  What did you get up to?

Since the last time I wrote, a fair amount has happened.  The end of year prom occurred for one.  In my opinion it was mediocre but nevertheless pleasant.  I also joined the gym.  I am really getting into my programme there and I do enjoy a challenge.  Despite this, I haven't been down for two weeks.  For one of the weeks I was in Devon.  I found the holiday lovely overall.  The weather was good and the beaches on the Devon coastline are stunning.  Nearly as stunning as Tamsin Egerton ;)  I even managed to burn/tan by lying on the beach; it's what I call an Irish tan.  My hair has gone blonder too. I returned home today, and I was wondering: why did my family settle down in the Slough area?  I mean even the name suggests it's a dump.       

After failing to find employment this summer despite applying to several places, I turned to selling clothes to increase my inflows.  It's been quite successful actually.  With the profits, I have bought a new watch, new shoes and a Burberry trench coat.  Still, it's frustrating not being able to find work.  At this rate the majority of school leavers will be claiming benefits which is a bigger drain on the economy than providing jobs for young people.  Perhaps apprenticeships are the way forward then.  Ok I'll stop now, every cloud and all that...

Other little things have happened here and there, but mainly the holidays have just been relaxing.  The only disconcerting feeling I have is the thought of results day later on this month.  I know exam results aren't the end of the world and life goes on, but they are important.  I know some of the exams didn't go too well for me.  So good luck to everyone, and if your not receiving results, then that's grand too.  I hope everyone thoroughly enjoys the remaining time off and I'll see you all again in September. 

- Mike

It's Been Raining Cats And Blogs Recently...

Well here we are; summer at last.  Well at least that's the theory.  The weather has been quite unpredictable -  raining one minute, then sunny the next.  It's as if it has bi-polar disorder.  Anyway, at least we have all finished exams though (albeit some of us have retakes) which means we can relax.  I am looking for work this summer and have applied to Tesco.  I haven't heard back from them yet, but it would be very convenient to get a job there as it's local.  So far though, I have been quite bored.  Most of the time I have been at home just lazing about really.

The Wimbledon season is well under way.  Hopeful Britons hope this will be Andy Murray's year, but you cannot bet against Nadal.  He is a formidable opponent, raked higher than Murray, but more importantly has won the tournament before and beaten all the top players.  I will look forward to see Maria Sharapova on court nevertheless ;)  It must be something about Russian women.  This tournament is the biggest in the tennis calendar and makes good viewing.  After all, I don't have much else to do.  How are you going to be spending the summer?

The football transfer market is open too.  Manchester United look to be big spenders this summer.  I feel that in the past the gaffer has bought players (like Bebe and Obertan) who have not really shown us their ability.  It could be a repeat performance of the class of 2005, where David Bellion and Eric Djemba-Djemba soon found themselves departing the club.  Well some say: "Nani has improved significantly.  Just give the new'uns time."  Nani was a £17 million pound player though.  So far United have signed Phil Jones and are seeking Ashley Young and David De Gea.

Last nights episode of The Apprentice was decent.  Leon was the fired candidate and I feel Lord Sugar made the correct decision.  Who do you think will win?  When the series began, I though Jim (the Northern Irish guy) was a main contender, but I am not sure now.  Much happens in an episode of Waterloo Road.  Every week a dramatic situation is thrown upon the viewers.  Funnily enough, after last week's episode; the fire alarm was set off by a pupil the day after the program at my mum's school which shows the influence the program has on people.  However, for the most part it just makes people feel better about their lives, as the majority of people are not teenage parents etc.  Made in Chelsea is OK too.  Monday's episode saw all the character's plans fail or backfire.      

I have bought lots of clothes over the past two months and several ties.  I don't mind spending money on clothes because it feels as if the money isn't being wasted.  For example you could spend £200 on a day out somewhere, but when the day is over, that's it.  I have ordered a pair of Timberland shoes online.  The question is, what will arrive sooner: Christmas or my Timberland's?  These delivery people do take their time.  Your probably sick of reading about this now, so I'll wrap it up.

I have heard some funny limericks in the last month.  Please excuse their irreverence and rudeness.   

There once was a woman named Jill
Who swallowed an exploding pill
They found her vagina
In North Carolina And her tits in a tree in Brazil   

There was a young Scotsman called Andy,

Who knocked over his bottle of Shandy.

He lifted his kilt,

To wipe up what he spilt,

and the barmaid said "Blimey!, that's handy"  

Have a lovely summer everyone.

From Dr Goobs.  

           

The Apprentice: Your Attired!

Good morning people.  Look outside; it's a lovely morning and so revision will be all the more harder knowing everyone in my family is going out :/  Anyway, this is my 60th blog post, and then it dawned on me just how many posts I have churned out since mid February.  Since my last post (over two weeks ago), Cein has made a new blog.  Part of the reason I have not posted is that he has mentioned the new and innovative things in it.  Well, I'll stop with the excuses now.  After all, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley needs her fix of Mikesy's blog ;)

Barcelona have recently been crowned champions of Europe, much to the displeasure of Man Utd fans.  Still, Barcelona truly outclassed the English side and deserved to win.  They have formed a frankly astonishing team!  Sticking with Man Utd - Paul Scholes has retired!  Shocked?  I'm not.  He was a great player, but I think he left at a good point.  We know of his reckless and aggressive tackling, and like Gary Neville, you could see weaknesses in their game.  All of this aside, Munster beat Leinster!!  Sorry to all those living around Dublin, but it was a good win.  Back to football, Swansea have been promoted to the Premier League at the expense of Reading.  Now, because Reading are quite a local team, I wanted them to be promoted, but hey.  Andy Murray is ploughing on in the French Open in spite of his ankle injury.  So that's enough on sport for now.

I saw "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides" in 3D on Monday.  I was quite pleased with it overall.  The main plot is Captain Jack and the crew are searching for the fountain of youth.  In this film, Keira Knightly is not present (don't cry now), and neither is Orlando Bloom.  Instead Penelope Cruz adapts to the role of a female pirate.  All the actors were on form, and Jack continues to amuse by saying things like: "writhing, writhing, incessant writhing!"  The reviews are a little mixed, but I enjoyed it - certainly more than the third one anyway.  Tonight will see The Apprentice on again.  This is a show I usually enjoy and I presume many of you watch it.  GQ magazine do a post every week commenting on how the contestants dress.  It's quite interesting really, for example it said "no" to the guys wearing lime green ties etc.  EastEnders is getting little better now.  Masood was right about Yusef all along, and despises the man because he seeks to steal his wife from him.  At the end of yesterdays episode, Masood and a vengeful Phil cornered him in the Arches.  Will there be a fight?  I think so.

I have thought up a Limerick myself:

There was once a man from Slough,
Who wanted to have sex right now,
His wife said "No!"
And her sister said "Go!"
So he had to have sex with a cow!

It's not great really, I'm sorry.  If you want to be really amused, just visit the Sikipedia website.
Next week I have six exams.  So good luck to everyone doing exams at this time.  I hope you can still enjoy half term though.

Yours sincerely,
Goobs.


  

You ain't nothing but a hound blog...

"They said you was high class, well that was just a lie."  Standard par there from Elvis.  What a "g."  I have been thinking recently about the legacy and indeed the present situation with rock music.  It all began really with Elvis in the 50's with rock and roll, where there was such excitement about seeing him sing.  He caught the world like a storm.  He starred in films and was good looking - as the women knew.  The Beatles revolutionised the way we listen to music today and their influence can be seen in many artists, most noticeably, Oasis.  My point in saying all this is that the spark of rock music is burning out.  Take Glastonbury for instance; a festival renowned for it's huge rock acts.  Well a few years ago Jay-Z headlined the event.  His music is good, he has some cracking lyrics too.  Still, usually I would much rather listen to Oasis on an off day, than him at his best.  Saying this, I do go through odd phases of liking a few random artists.  For example N-Dubz, where I liked there catchy singles.  The thing is though, now think about this; the music that stands the test of time is often rock music.  Music that sounds as fresh today as it did when it was released maybe twenty or thirty years ago.  I do like a variety of music though, it's just I have noticed this change particularly in rock.  Anyway, that aside, did you think Jude Law looked dapper at Cannes?  I did.  He is a man men love to hate, but he pulled off a tux well.  I have bought two silk ties to accompany my suits.  Hopefully I will have much success wearing them - pulling women ;D

Today I had two exams.  The English went well I think.  However the French was poor.  I wouldn't be surprised if I got 20/40 on that paper.  My dad re-assured me though that French "won't earn you money" and "don't worry, French is not your language."  How was the first day of public exams for you?  Good probably.  Or as Cein Hannan would put it, "grand."  There is your shout out, subtly done.

This weekend saw Manchester United win the Premier League.  It also released West Ham from its majestic grasp.  Don't you think it's awful that attempted attacks are repeatedly being tried on Neil Lennon, the Celtic manager?  There is clearly a fierce rivalry in Scotland still.  People need to move on.  History is history.  The Irish are discontented about the queen visiting the republic too.  Again, patriotic paddy's (plosive alliteration) are remembering when times weren't so stable.  This hatred was just, but not any more.  Lets not get BLOGGED down with all this.  Sorry if I am overdoing it with the puns.

I have heard another funny limerick, and well I haven't done one in a while so here it is:

An agreeable girl named Miss Doves

Likes to fondle the young men she loves.

She will use her bare fist

If the fellows insist

But she really prefers to wear gloves  

Good luck in the remainder of your exams people.

Yours sincerely, Goobs.  

  

Seven days without a pun makes one weak...

So, we've made it to the end of year 11.  It seems a little strange because I can clearly remember sitting in an assembly when the year began and staff telling us just how quickly the year would go.  They weren't lying.  If Concorde could represent a year, it would be year 11 :)  So now we just have to go in for exams and revise of course.  My compulsory education is finished, and that ladies and gentlemen is a mile stone.  From now on we have the choice of what to study or seek employment etc.  I have chosen English and I have been told I am foolish by some off my peers.  They're probably right.  But lets "roll with the punches."  Congratulations anyway everyone!          


We are in the thick of exams and revision at the moment,  or "rolling in the deep."  Lets hope we don't look back and say: "we could have had it all..."  I am happy with my coursework results in Geography and History, both of which were quite tricky to do well in.  I seem set up for the exams.  The final hurdle is my mentality and ability to remain cool through this period.  All of this aside, lets talk about TV for a second.  The new series of "The Apprentice" began on Tuesday.  What do you think?  I think that series is always a winner.  Lord Sugar helps add tension and depth to the program.  They manage to represent a positive aspect of business, and put aside some of the corporate façade.  Waterloo Road has also been re-introduced.  What I can say about it is that it's intense!  How do feel about wearing suits?  I have recently purchased two suits, but it's quite difficult them as you can imagine.  GQ magazine are always banging on about men releasing their sartorial side anyway.  


With the Premier League coming to an end soon, and Wimbledon beginning, there is plenty to watch in sport.   Is Lionel Messi unstoppable?  He will test Man Utd if he is in good form in the Champions League final.  Have you noticed that Man Utd tend to play Ji-sung Park in the "big" games?  It shows the influence he has.  Ok. that's enough on sport.  I recently discovered that Megan Fox models for Armani.  A reason to purchase their clothing?  I think so ;)  The premier for the new Pirates of the Caribbean film occurred yesterday.  No doubt there were women fainting as Johnny Depp passed.  I was unsatisfied with the last film though.  It was a bum numbing three hours and a little weak in terms of plot.  Well this one has Penelope Cruz and will be shown in 3D.  This summer will see the release of "Cowboys and Aliens" which features Daniel Craig.  Is it worth going to see, just for Olivia Wilde?  


I know there is much more I could comment on to do with school memorabilia, but I have written enough for now.  To end this blog, and indeed the school year I will share with you some school/subject related pun liners:


To write with a broken pencil is pointless.


When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

Gravity is studied a lot because it’s a very attractive field.

The poet had written better poems, but he’d also written verse.

When chemists die, we barium

Good luck everyone in the exams.  Before you know it, it'll be X-mas!  

Love for Michael Goober Price.

  

Is Utilitarian the new Sexy?

Are you sick of my corny puns?  If so, here is a more "bloggish" title.   If you are reading this with English analytical skills, you may even say that a question helps include and engage the reader.  Well whatever.  This question is a surprisingly interesting question to ponder on in the society we live in these days.  If you can utilise something, it means you might become fond of it.  You may not consider it "sexy," but nevertheless it's useful in your life.  However I believe the two go hand in hand.  Take "Apple" products for example.  The I-pad is unquestionably handsome, but it's also useful.  ("It can't make you a cup of tea though," as grandparents would say.)  I don't own one though.  The same pattern can be observed in the I-pod and many other gadgets.  The best combination would be a sexy looking car (like a Lamborghini) which was incredibly satisfying to drive - and reliable.  Items like cutlery and napkins serve a purpose, but they aren't sexy.  Still, the world is becoming increasingly picky about aesthetics and utilitarianism.  Progress has been made in the last 50 years then.  I thought I would just take your mind of the imminent exams briefly anyway.     

Today my bus was a little bit annoying.  I pressed the "stop" button three times, and the bus driver seemed ignorant to this.  I ended up being dropped up in Gerrards Cross town instead of where I wanted to be dropped.  Oh well, I got some exercise I suppose.  It is good for the old ticker.  I also received my citizenship card which is supposed to give a pittance of a reduction on items in certain Slough shops.  Who would want to shop in Slough!?  That's putting it candidly - it's useful I suppose ;)  We all know we have exams starting on Monday.  How well prepared are you?

In sport, and more specifically football; Manchester Untied seem destined to win the Premier League.  Liverpool won extremely comfortably last night against Fulham, 5-2. I am more happy about Wycombe Wanderers gaining promotion though.  You see, not a complete gloryhunter am I?  So as my academic year draws to a close, I have been pondering on my time in compulsory education.  It hasn't passed that quickly actually.  It's an important stage in my life of course though with exams and sixth form coming soon.  I hope my destiny is a rosy as Manchester United's then.

To everyone doing exams soon; I wish you the very best of luck.

Love from Inspector Goobs.          
 

Do you have the time, to listen to me whine? About nothing and everything all at once...

Well as the GCSE exams approach extremely rapidly, how are you coping with the pressure?  Anyway, I don't want to get bogged down with exams so lets look on the bright side.  It's Friday!  Also the weather is fine, but a little muggy don't you think?  I know we only had to soldier on for four days this week, but I am quite tired.  It's all the mock exams I suppose.  After school today I bought a Burberry shirt.  The main reason is that I clumsily stained one of my other "nice" shirts with butter, which is relentlessly sticking to it.  I know you might mock me for choosing Burberry because it used to be the preferred clothing line of chavs, but their clothes are fit.  I like to extend the range of designers I buy from too.  Oh, happy birthday to Adrian!  Have a great day man.   

I seem to have the case of writers blog.  The combination of not having enough time, not being arsed and not knowing what to write has got to me.  I was going to call this entry "The princess and the blog" but that didn't quite cut it.  Instead I chose some Green day lyrics.  Actually, thinking about it now that title may have been appropriate after the royal wedding.  Oh, have you noticed Kate Middleton's buff sister Pippa?  She was helping carry Kate's dress at the wedding I think.  Anyway her bottom has caused a stir in the media and indeed has raised the attention of the nation.  I was reading an article in the daily mail the other day, which was dedicated to her bottom mostly and also the factual stuff of course.  With Osama Bin Laden's death on Monday too, we have had a lot to digest.  Here's my theory anyway.  I feel Al-Qaeda may retaliate but very surreptitiously.  So this is not the end of terrorism unfortunately.  But it's a step forward.

There is a true two horse race in the Premier League battle this year.  Man Utd have left it very late.  They should have one it by now, but Chelsea have clawed back the points and reeled in an increasingly distant campaign for them until recently.  Who knows what will happen.  The match this weekend will be telling though.  Apparently Andy Murray was knocked out of the Madrid Open.  Perhaps he will reserve his best form for Wimbledon, where many Britons will put their hopes on his shoulders.  The media keep bringing up the statistic about the last British player to win it being Fred Perry in 1933 (that's off the top of my head, don't quote me).  Well, lets see what happens.

I haven't found a decent limerick to share with you and I am sure you are saturated with the endless Bin Laden jokes.  So have a nice weekend everyone.

Love from Mick.